Have A Great Marriage

It is our experience and observation that a great marriage is built upon equality and transparency.  You know equality exists in a marriage because it is visible.  Both parties see the other as being just as important as themselves.  They do not talk behind their partner's back.  They have merged their own self and their relationship in such a way that both appear powerful.  Transparency is something you don't see, but it is how couples in great marriages communicate with each other.  They do so because at some point they each learned that whatever they might think or feel, when their partner habitually receives it with acceptance and understanding, the bond between the two gets stronger.  Revealing oneself to another becomes an easy, intimate act in a great marriage.  To make a great marriage complete, it is necessary that each partner can receive the love being offered and that each is receiving what they need (and can only find) in relationship.  Receiving this kind of love sounds simple and easy, but it is not.  It is tricky.  Being in love with someone does not mean you can receive the love being offered to you.  Loving another (children included) does not mean you are ready to receive the love they are offering.  To receive love from another you must be conscious of all the ways you are critical of yourself.  You must learn how these personal unloving habits block messages of endearment and acts of love thrown your way.  Getting what you need in relationship is extremely important yet it may be the hardest thing to do because we aren't typically aware of what we need.  We experienced what it is once or twice (the reason we fell in love in the first place), but it remains in our unconscious most of the time.  Making your needs conscious and manageable within a relationship is a key step in building a great marriage.  Having them met most of the time can place you in nirvana.  For more on this subject check out our blog at www.haveagreatmarriage.blogspot.com for more.